Reflections

I was reading a friends status on facebook today and there's some very similar things going on in her life that there were going on in mine when I left home at 19.  As I was reading through some of the responses it made me sad to see so many OLDER adults (she's 19 now herself-issues with parents) feeding into it.  I remember being there, I can feel the pain like it was yesterday, believe me I haven't forgotten any of that, and I know that what I felt was real, and that yes my parents were wrong at times, much like my friends situation, but I too had adults feed into my situation as well, and I think that was truly more harmful for me than it was helpful.  Yes it's nice to know that I was "justified" in my thinking and pain back then, but at the same time that shouldn't have been where they all stopped.  That was the job of my friends, to tell me I'm right and leave it at that.  All the adults I talked to should have kept going.  There should have been some "but" in there somewhere.  "But" have you tried talking to them about how you're feeling, "but" are you 100% truthful in your retelling of the events, "but" what's the motive behind what they're saying/doing, etc.  Not that understanding them would have made them any more right, but nobody even tried to tell me to understand them or to think about things from a different angle, and for sure nobody tried to tell me to talk to them about anything.  Everybody told me it was useless because they wouldn't listen anyway.  What a lie.  Would any of that made a difference in the choices I made back then?  Maybe, maybe not.  If I had chosen to talk to them, certainly things would have been much different.  And yes, I know that all things work together for good, for sure good things have happened to me BECAUSE I left home that wouldn't have if I had stayed, I've learned a LOT since I've left home, most of which haven't been easy lessons.  Would I ultimately trade the events that took place?  No, I wouldn't at this point in my life.  I'm glad for what I've learned and where I've come, I'm a stronger and better person because of it.  Do I wish I would have gone about things differently, yes.  I wish I would have talked to my parents, I wish I would have made the decision with them to move back home to Maine instead of running here to try and escape my problems (which for the record followed me anyway).  Be careful with how much and what you agree with when people tell you their problems, especially if they respect you in any way, shape, or form, your words mean a LOT more to them than the average joe shmo off the street.  Just some thoughts...