Stronger

So it's been a VERY long time since I've last posted. I do apologize, but I've been so busy it's ridiculous. Big things that have happened? I got a lizard a couple weeks ago, his name is Rhett (from Gone With the Wind). I've been dating my best friend for a month as of the 8th of May. We STILL have overtime at work, I think we're going to have it until doomsday. And my friend and I are looking for an apartment, which we will hopefully find soon.



I must admit, it's been an introspective year thus far, especially while I'm at work until 2am. For various reasons I've been thinking about my most recent ex a lot lately, not because I miss him or want to get back together with him, but because things have reminded me of him and I can't seem to get him out of my head, which I don't enjoy very much I have to admit. Anyhow, seeings as I can't stop remembering things about him recently I just let my mind wander with it the other night at work. I thought about how I still have things tat he gave me while we were dating and I was questioning why in the world I still have them. And I finally figured out why.

I think all I have left are a few cards and a pair of flip flops, an odd mix I know. It was the cards mostly that got me thinking. To me, the cards represent good times we shared, the flip flops too but not quite like the cards. They remind me that it wasn't all bad, they make him seem more...human? Kind? More like what I thought he was. Something happened to me when I was little that took me 13 years to get over, because all I remembered was the bad stuff, I forgot that the other person involved had actually been my friend. And frankly, I don't want the same thing to happen; I don't want to forget that while bad things happen good things do too; I don't want to start thinking that every guy is going to do to me what he did and start fearing guys because I've forgotten that at one point we did get along and were friends and loved each other.

But I'm 20 now, almost 21. And honestly, I don't need reminders, I can remember all on my own. Well, in theory anyway, I am a blonde... ;) But I also don't want to feel like I'm running away from him and that the only way I can get over it is to have every reminder of him gone, because frankly that's impossible. Almost every time I turn the radio on I'm reminded of him. So...I'm tossing the cards and such, because those are just reminders, but I'm keeping the flip flops, because technically I bought them, but also because I want to remind myself that I can think of him without it getting to me, I want to remind myself that I'm bigger and stronger than what happened and that it doesn't matter how often I think of him or what makes me think of him-I'm going to be all right.

Probably a boring post for most, but it was exciting for me today lol :) Anyway, off to bed so I can rest up for my busy day tomorrow :) Night world!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk