My Best Friend

There have been a lot of people tell me I should stop dating my boyfriend, or at the very least insinuate it. And while everybody is more than welcome to their opinion, it helps when that opinion is formed off of some knowledge of the people involved, and the people that tell me this hardly know him if they know him at all. Not just that, but they don't understand what they're telling me I should give up. So I'm going to explain it for those people, and maybe after reading this they'll understand why I could never give him up. What I have with him is something I've dreamed about my whole life, but had given up hope of ever finding. Someone who loves me for me; not for what I can do for him or because I make him feel better when he has a bad day or because I can make him laugh, but somebody who loves EVERY little thing about me down to me snorting when I laugh and that I still love to color. Someone who loves me enough to remember my favorite flavor Starbucks frappuccino even though I like them all. Someone who, in the middle of a fight, can say "Stop! We both need to calm down and talk about this like rational human beings, not rabid beasts at each other throats." Someone who can hold me when all I want to do is hit something. Someone who really knows me. Beyond my favorite flavor Starbucks frappuccino. Someone who knows things about me that sometimes I don't even see until I'm told, like the fact that I'm slightly claustrophobic. Someone who knows, just by looking at my face, when I'm in a bad mood and pesters me until I let it out because he knows it's better for me than keeping it bottled up. Someone who knows what's bothering me and only asks me because I need to voice it. Someone who I can just sit with and not talk as comfortably as staying up all night and talking about nothing. Someone who I can talk to about anything and everything and will do the same back. Someone I can be open and honest with and not worry that he'll take advantage of my thoughts and feelings. Somebody not threatened by me being friends with other guys, or that one of my ex's is still one of my best friends. Somebody who is comfortable with having different friends and spending time with those friends separately. Somebody who can get me out of my comfort zone, who can make me get out there and do things, like go four wheeling, snowmobiling, riding on a motorcycle, playing basketball. Somebody to DO things with. Somebody as comfortable in a fancy restaurant as they are in McDonald's. Somebody with the same thoughts and opinions about important things like raising children. Someone willing to work things out when there's a disagreement. Somebody who can admit when he's wrong, but also won't let me get away with it when I am. Somebody who won't let me walk all over him but won't do that to me either. Somebody who treats me as his equal. Someone who takes care of me and who takes care of himself. Someone I trust, without any hesitation whatsoever, and who trusts me equally as much. Somebody who, when he tells me I'm beautiful, isn't just looking at my physical appearance. Somebody who can actually make me feel beautiful. Someone who puts me first. Someone who's OK with my hobbies and even though he isn't into them tries to be for my sake. Somebody who pushes me to be better, but never makes me feel like I'm not the best I can possibly be. Someone who I want to become a better person for. Someone who will help me change things in my life that need to be changed. Somebody who can teach me to stick up for myself and stop letting people take advantage of me and use me. Someone who doesn't think I'm silly when I say that one day I'm going to finish the book I've been writing for years and become a world famous author. Someone who tells me that the big unattainable goals in my life are reachable and that he'll help me reach them if he can. Somebody who loves me unconditionally, who even when I'm at my worst will sit there and tell me he loves me and mean it every time. Someone who doesn't judge me when I make mistakes because he knows neither one of us is perfect. Somebody who makes me happy, deep down inside. Somebody I can depend on when life gets rough and seems to be falling apart. I wanted a dream guy basically. And I found him. Years of settling for less and less of what I wanted because I thought who I wanted didn't exist, of being hurt over and over again, led me to him. He's healed things inside me that had hurt for so long I'd forgotten they were hurting. He's fixed parts of me I didn't know were broken. And all of that was just with his friendship. He has shown me what true love really is, not just between a guy and a girl, but between every human being. I've learned that children are not the only precious and fragile people in my life. I've learned that friendship is the most important part of any relationship. That without that, you've missed the whole point of love. Iv'e found my best friend. The best thing that ever happened to me.

Good Food and Good Times

So it's been a while since I've written here, but I've had a few people recently tell me I should pick it back up, so I'm going to. For whoever may read this and wonders why I didn't write for so long, I had a lot of personal things going on and basically this wasn't on my priority list, but things have sort of settled down now so I'm back :) So much has happened since I last wrote I'm not even going to try and catch anybody up to speed on my life. Suffice it to say life has been, well, very life-ish. Ups and downs, whiplash, laughs and tears, the whole 9 yards, but mostly it's been ok. Christmas and Thanksgiving were pretty good, so I suppose I can't complain too much. Good food and good times. :) Today however the good food and good times only lasted until my first break at work. I went out to lunch with my uncle and best friend (good food) and then we went to visit my aunt Virginia who's in rehab because she broke her hip (good times, for us, not so much for her...). Then I got to work. I was tired to begin with, the kind of tired where coffee doesn't even wake me up, and so I was a bit on the grouchy side. Then one of the high up people called me in her office. Good times exit stage left. She had about 10 things on a list, yes she had a list, of things that I was doing wrong. I think a grand total of 2 of those things I actually did. Which I admitted to, I'm not going to lie about talking to people while I work, or repeating something somebody said the way they said it when I probably should have found a more "work appropriate" way of saying it. Whatever, I did them, punish me if you must. HOWEVER, when I tell you that every other thing on your list of bad things I do is a lie, how dare you not even tell me you'll look into it to find the truth of the matter. Just because somebody says something doesn't make it true. Just because a lot of people say something doesn't make it true. And have you ever thought about how much time it would take out of somebody's work to sit there and see if I'm turned away from my work all night talking away with another worker? But of course they won't get in trouble because they're making sure everybody in the plant is as miserable as they are, oh wait, that we're all working like we're supposed to, yea, that's what they're making sure of. Not only did she flat out insist that these things were true, but as I was trying to defend myself, stick up for myself, tell her the truth, whatever you want to call it, she started yelling at me for arguing with her. And then, the woman who writes my reviews for work, who less than a month ago told my supervisor that I am a good worker, I sit at my station and work all night long, I don't goof off, my numbers are good, the quality of my work is good, sat there and agreed with this other woman about EVERYTHING. I wasn't impressed. And of course we can't go for a conversation like this without some twisting of everything I say and turning it around so it gets me into even more trouble, assuming that everything I do is for my benefit, because we all know that I would never offer to let someone do a frame they like even though according to the "do what's next in line" rule, we'd both end up with frames we dislike, simply because I'm feeling generous because they just got finished with a frame from down yonder. Nope, I'm just a selfish little brat and want all the good work for myself. Well, lemme tell you something, if I was picking good work, about 75% of the frames I started I'd have put back. I take the bad work and do it just like everybody else, and I don't avoid frames because I think they're bad, I "avoid them" because I know somebody else likes them better. Nor do I slide parts through without looking at them. My boyfriends mother has a pacemaker, my cousin's grandfather has a pacemaker, my own mother might eventually need one (we make parts for pacemakers if you hadn't guessed), that stuff is close to home I'm gonna check it all. Nor do I take 30 minute breaks, and if you're that concerned about people taking long breaks, why not get on the case of the guy who takes a 45 min break on every break because he likes to go to walmart. 2 of our breaks are only supposed to be 10 minutes long. Does anybody else see a problem with this? I could go on but you get my point. Good feelings gone. After that I was so angry I was sick to my stomach so I couldn't even eat the rest of my good food leftovers at my supper break. Instead I had a chocolate chip cookie and that almost came back up. Good-bye good food. So after we get done our "conversation" that I rarely was allowed to participate in, I was told that they would decide my punishment tomorrow and let me know when I came in to work that afternoon. HALT. Did I hear that correctly? I am going to be punished because people are lying about me and you refuse to even take what I say into consideration and try to find the truth of the matter? I think not. Again, if I've done something wrong, punish me if you must, I won't argue with that. I will now however tolerate being punished for things I did not do, when there are plenty of ways (i.e. security cameras you supposedly have pointing in every nook and cranny in the plant) for you to find out the truth, which would lead you to the conclusion that multiple people, your "sources" as you call them, are lying to you. Not going to happen. So I quit. I finished the night out so I could leave quietly at the end and it wouldn't cause a massive ruckus until after I was gone, because heaven knows gossip is perfectly fine there, just not laughter, and by the end of tomorrow everybody in the plant will know I'm gone, and probably think it's because I couldn't "take the heat". But you know what. I really don't care anymore. The people that I do care about know the truth and that's all that matters. The rest can keep on spying and gossiping and I will never have to deal with it again :) Now I'm back to job hunting, but at least I'll be able to enjoy my good food and hopefully have some good times :) Now however, I think it's about time for me to head to bed, I have to rest up for my upcoming weekend marathon of eating cheesecake and watching sob inducing chick flicks. Night world <3